The weather last Sunday was beautiful, unspoiled blue skies and the temp a comfortable 80. It felt like a dry run for the (any day now) upcoming summer. And you know what good weather means, right? It means outdoor riot season! The prime time of year for beer-courageous sports fans and the all day meth-wired delinquents to get out on the pavement and have some fun.

A whole gang of folks in Lorain weren’t about to let Sunday go without a little recreational upheaval, according to the Chronicle-Telegram. The subsequent riot was the kind of street fight you wish you could only find in the movies. Warring families! Pregnant women grabbing on cops! A late arriving motorcycle gang!

The trouble seemed to have started off stage, but our snapshot into the melee begins when a juvenile drove up to a home on E. 31st Street, jumped out with a board in hand, and began talking smack to a nearby group of teens. Out of nowhere he was “bum rushed” by 23-year-old Ismael Ostolaza. Everyone jumped into the pool after that, armed with boards and pipes. The fight was reportedly between two families, with fathers and sons battling alongside one another for la familia.

The police arrived on the scene but backup was late. Luckily, a group of firefighters had been dispatched on a false alarm in the vicinity and stayed around to get the crowd under control. Six arrests were made: Ostolaza, 38-year-old Juan Negron, 45-year-old Angel Cruz and two juvenile males. As police were putting the cuffs on the suspects, a pregnant woman got all f*ck-the-police and started pulling on the officers. She was arrested for resisting arrest.

Finally, the coda on this is kicker: just as the proverbial dust was beginning to drop, who should happen to roll in but the cavalry, three hog-strapped members of the Baricua motorcycle club. Alas, they were too late, and the police told them so. The bikers road off, but not before ominously varooming their hogs for good measure. Like mom always said, if you can’t swing a lead pipe, you might as well make a statement.